Sunday, April 15, 2012

Letter of Love Confession

I found myself awake 'til 2am last night. I lay on my bed 9pm. Earphones on to lullaby myself. I've been rolling, damn it! I couldn't sleep.
Picture perfect memoriesScattered all around the floorReaching for the phone 'causeI can't fight it anymore 
And I wonder if IEver cross your mindFor me it happens all the time
It's a quarter after oneI'm all aloneAnd I need you nowSaid I wouldn't callBut I've lost all control 
And I need you now ...
Out of the blue this song was played, and again you were in my mind.
You are constantly in my mind.
You are stuck in my head.
You seem to be a virus in my system that i couldn't fixed.

I've tried to convince my mind to forget you, and leave the memories in the past.
I've tried hard enough, yet here i am again thinking about you.

It's been quite a whileIt really kept me wanting youYou've got some style that's so uniqueSo beautiful, so warm, so deep

Stay with me tonightLet me know the kind of loveThat will remain forever beA dream that you have made reality
Loving you, ohohohIs such an easy thing to doNo you'll never knowIt's driving me crazy coz it grows and growsBut I won't let it stopNo I'm not giving upLoving you, oh loving youJust have been too much

How have u been August?

Yes, I've been wanting to ask you this. Simple yet i'm so hesitant to do. Like i don't know how to approach you anymore. Perhaps it's no big deal for you and that you wouldn't mind. But, i don't have the courage to get in touch with you again like we used to for the first time...

I've been thinking what's with you that made me like you so much,
so much that it made me so desperate and insane. I guess it was the first date, that i had this feeling of a love-at-first-sight thing, when i got in your car, sat next to you. Was it because of the Rayban you wore? Perhaps... Cos u looked damn good i must say! As i keep seeing you, the feeling just grew.

♥ I miss those days how u made me feel so special. Feeling that made me blind.
♥ I miss the nonstop sms exchange. The sweet msgs, some i still kept, that made me
    hoity-toity retard teenager.
♥ I miss your face when u laugh, your funny teeth.
♥ I miss your voice so much, i'm gonna die. ='(

 Standing by my window, listening for your call
Seems I really miss you after allTime won't let me keep these sad thoughts to myselfI'd just like to let you know, I wish I'd never let you goAnd I'll always love youDeep inside this heart of mineI do love youAnd I'll always need youAnd if you ever change your mindI'll still, I will love you

I wish you'd never left me but love's a mysteryYou can break a heart so easilyOh the days and nights reveal how much I feel for youTime has come for me to see how much your love has meant to me

And I'll always love youAnd if you ever change your mindI'll still, I will love you

I've embarrassed myself in front of you so many times, that perhaps were major turn-offs.
I've msg you with so much of my heartaches, that perhaps you thought i've gone insane.

One thing i regret so much is that, i was a coward to tell you my true feelings.
But then, with my response towards you, i'm pretty sure my feelings was obvious.
Obvious enough to made you distant from me.
Jealous of the girl who caught your eyeOne of my darker daysWhen you looked at her where was I?Shoulda been in her place, here I amAll alone imagining what could have beenIf I had been there

Jealous of the one whose arms are around youIf she's keeping you satisfiedJealous of the one who finally found youMade your sun and your stars collide 
La la la la la la laShe's a very, very lucky girlLa la la la la la la

Jealous of the one who won your heartThey say it's a perfect matchShe's gonna get to be where you areAnd I don't get better than that

She'll say you're fineWhisper words I wish were mineAnd they might have beenIf I had been there

Jealous of the one whose arms are around youIf she's keeping you satisfiedJealous of the one who finally found youMade your sun and your stars collide

La la la la la la laShe's a very, very lucky girlLa la la la la la la

You know I'd fight the good fightIf I thought I'd change your mindBut if she makes you happyI would leave that dream behind

Man, she better treat you rightAnd give you everything'Cause at the moment she doesn'tI'll be waiting in the wings
Have you found someone?
It breaks my heart to think. Because i still hope, that you would like me and reciprocate my feelings. I know, i know, you deserve someone WAY BETTER than me. I must wake up from my dreams, cos fantasies of you and me won't come in to reality. =(

I'm bad at writing a love letter, nor good at anything sweet.
I found this, and its perfectly what i wanted to tell you all these times.

Dear August,
I find it really hard to express my love as i fall short of words to describe what i feel for you. From the time we first met, your face has been in my thoughts always. I am unable to concentrate on my job and the magic of your smile is forever etched in my memory. Let me cherished the hope that you are aware of my feelings, for surely you must have seen it in my eyes, in my actions and in my words. Let me hope you will accept my heart.
With love,

You made it clear to me though, that i should not misunderstood, and that you only want me as a friend. It hurt my feelings, and made me even nerveless to confess. I admit, i made a fool out of myself for getting the wrong idea of the "friendship" i thought special to me and you.

Perhaps we met at the wrong time, in the WRONG PLACE.
Its sad that i could not turn back time, i miss you. I'd kill to see you again.
August. My heart is ugly, but it could be all yours.

*Back to FB after posting this, and saw his thumbnail pic on my friends list! God! Me gonna die everytime! Please don't appear in my face, cos i can't helped but to click and see your updates!!!
Alright, alright, i know. I can delete him to stop torturing myself, but wtf, i go crazy if i wouldn't know just a bit of his present and presence.


  1. wow, did you write that? it's so deep and sad but I couldn't stop reading it. it's so good! well done! xxx

    1. Thank you! why are u so sweet?^^ the centered ones are song lyrics. :D words came from my broken heart..